Self-Directed Relationship Therapy

May 4, 2009 by  
Filed under Relationship Tips

Any normal relationship will experience both ups and downs throughout the length of time spent together, but most couples are unwilling to pursue relationship therapy due to time or monetary constraints. This never means that couples not seeking relationship therapy are any less committed than those that do, but simply have a very different idea of what’s acceptable and what’s not when it comes to exposing their private lives.

If one or both partners are hesitant or unwilling to pursue therapy, there is still a chance to effective work out current and past issues to contribute to a healthy future together. There are simple exercises and therapeutic sessions that every couple can implement and self-direct for reparative and healing experiences.

If you are a member of a couple in need of therapy and your partner refuses to take part in self-directed relationship therapy, you can also do these on your own. It tends to be more helpful when both parties take part, but each couple and situation is different.

The first thing that either and both parties to a troubled relationship can do is to begin thinking positively about the other. The idea is to try remembering why you fell in love with each other in the first place.

Try writing a list, letter or poem to physically state and express why and what characteristics you love about the other one. Do not mention any negative habits or attributes, or use any negative language.

You may also try to sit together and tell the other why you love them, or simply have an intimate dance or embrace. Remove the worries of the world, children and finances, and let your mind and heart flow and release your true feelings for the other.

There are several types of self-directed relationship therapy that any couple can employ. Also consider the vast resources available at your local library or bookstore. You may find various styles of workbooks and lessons that you can complete alone or together to learn more about the other one, make mutual goals for the future, and even learn to deal with issues in the future.

Imago, or the ‘match’ style of relationship therapy, is highly recommended for virtually every couple. Several books and other resources are available on the subject; the entire basis of this style of self-directed relationship therapy is that you do everything possible together.

Valuable insight into your partner and your relationship can be gained through role-playing. You can perform this exercise yourselves, but several professional therapists will employ this method as well to enable you to experience how your partner views you and your actions.

Role-playing allows you to see the difference between the words you are saying and what message is actually being communicated to your loved one. Sometimes, awareness is all that is needed to begin to move forward.

Just remember to remain open and honest with yourself and your partner throughout any self-directed relationship therapy exercise, and your results will be far more effective and long-lasting.

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