Don’t Let Her Know You Harbor Emotional Baggage

June 24, 2009 by  
Filed under Internet Dating Tips

Ok, so you have had a fair few bad relationships or experienced rejection because you are a “nice guy”. That is harsh and some women do like a bad boy but one thing is for sure, if you bring this up in a conversation with a girl you are trying to impress, you might as well walk away then and there. The deal is likely well and truly over.

The problem with this train of thought is that it is far too general and pigeonholes women in a way which isn’t true. Some women, probably most, do not look for a “bad boy” trait in a man, rather, kind, intelligent, interesting, funny among others and many do not look for anything in particular but are open-minded when they meet someone.

Moaning about women preferring bad boys will also just make you look like you need an excuse for the fact that you have had back luck with women in the past. Not a good look for impressing someone new.

Maybe you are just trying to be honest and let the girl know how you feel, but in this case honesty is not the best policy. Just as in an job interview, you wouldn’t be completely honest and let them know that you just can’t get out of your bed in the morning and are usually late for work. Or that you tend to skive for 50% of the day. Obviously you wouldn’t as you would be shown the door quick smart.

Rather, you would emphasize your skills and attributes and everything would be worded in a positive light. With you potential mate, do the same and make her want to be with you because you are a charming person. There will be plenty of time to discover each other’s weaknesses, which you will both have. Set out on a good footing and take it from there.

People are rarely attracted to negative people especially if the negativity is directly at their gender. Let you girlfriend know that you are an upbeat person and like to look for the good in every situation. She will be impressed and want to be around you.

If you want to, compliment her on how much you are enjoying chatting to her, that you find her very interesting and pretty and that you would like to take it further. This is nice for her self-esteem providing you do not appear too desperate for her affections.

Letting the conversation flow is great with talk of your favorite activities and your amazing skiing holiday last year, just leave out complaints about past girlfriends. Let this girl know that you are fun to be with and do not have a pre-conceived idea about what all women want and how you think it is difficult to meet their needs, that won’t go down well for you.

Let things take their course naturally and if you give her reason to want to be with you, she will.

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