Winning Your Ex Back, Part I

April 18, 2009 by  
Filed under Get Your Ex Back

We’ve all been in the situation before – someone breaks up with you, and you immediately start to replay the past weeks and months to determine what possibly went wrong between you two. At times, it’s possible to figure out how to win an ex back, but you still need some time and distance to recoup and become open to the possibility of getting back together. This is the first part to a two-part series about how to win your ex back.

It may feel natural at first, but the worst thing to do after a break-up is to beg and plead them to stay, or make them feel guilty in any way. Whatever is left between you is likely to die immediately. It’s best to allow some distance between the two of you so you can look at the situation and partnership objectively.

If you’re wanting to win your ex back, you first need to analyze the situation and determine where you each went wrong in the relationship. Be willing to admit your mistakes, and figure out what you need to do to remedy the action or habit that led to this situation.

This part of the process requires some toughness, as it’s not easy owning up to things you’ve done wrong in the past. Admitting the wrong is the first step in healing, so make sure you don’t skip this step; this is how couples get into the rabid cycle of breaking up and getting back together repeatedly – they don’t fix what went wrong in the first place.

You must begin my making a genuine effort to improve your own life; stop placing the blame, and decide to make you the best you possible. Start working out, go to therapy, get a new hobby, start volunteering, or go back to school. Actions speak louder than words, so if your ex sees that you’re making changes, they are more likely to want to come back to you.

After you and your ex have had some time to cool off after the break-up, ask him or her to meet you in a casual environment. This isn’t a fancy dinner date, but maybe a walk in the park or cup of coffee on the corner. When contacting them to set up this meeting, be short and concise, and simply tell them you’d like a chance to clear the air and remain friends with them.

If they don’t give an answer immediately, simply step back and wait. After a week or so, try asking them to meet again. Perhaps they have been out of town, or are just unsure as to whether they want to meet with you. No matter the reason, you mustn’t act desperate and beg them to come; they will come around eventually if it’s meant to be.

In the meantime, you can continue to improve yourself and your quality of life, and become more appealing to them for when you do finally meet.

In Part II of this series, we’ll discuss what should actually be said at the meeting to lead to getting back together with your ex.

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